The Dream Guy

At all times the new people I met will tend to wonder if I have a boyfriend. 

Friends that know me will try to recommend guys to me. Question will start popping up like "What kind of guy do you like? Rich? Tall? Handsome? I have all kinds of friends you know." Nah, I am not really interested and can't think of an ideal type.  


I was a person that wanted to date someone just because I want them to be in my future, but now I became the heck care kind of girl because I know that I have plenty of time still therefore there is still time for me to try out in different kind of relationship.

One day I met this guy that I wasn't really interested in, unknowingly he came into my life and nope I don't know him well however I open up my barriers because I believe he is a nice guy therefore I decided to befriend him.


Bonding

Our first date was during Christmas, people say that we should spend our Christmas with our loves one but then my religion is not a Christian therefore my family don't have the tendency to celebrate that festive season hence I went out with him.

So nice of him wanted to pass me some turkey to bring home despite just knowing each other, he came empty handed and we headed over to his place after the movie to collect it. It was already after midnight, I took some rest and headed back home. Nope, we did not do anything.

Girlfriend

Relationship began unexpectedly, it was really great to have him planning on what we should do the next day. We have been practically seeing each others everyday for weeks! He will also always welcome me with a big smile when I reaches his house. Sometimes he would address me as his "girlfriend", I am really happy to hear that and did not mention anything just because I don't want to spoil the mood, in fact he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend so I guess we are not officially together.

Bitch

He is such a well groomed person, hearing unappealing words coming out from his mouth literally turn me off. Especially when it is aiming at me, ouch! that is so hurting how could I allow people to call me that but I will always tell myself he doesn't mean it. Endure is the key, stay calm and there will be no argument.

Responsibility

I was shock when he had to wake up earlier just to make me breakfast and also to make sure that I am did not over slept on the days when I had school knowing that it was my own responsibility to wake up in time. I never ever thought someone would take up another person responsibilities, his action really touches my heart.

Whore

Words never stop, more and more kept coming at me making me thought that I am one of them even when I am not. It's like you call a skinny person fat, or a slightly more gentle men a gay, even if they are not one day they will eventually turn fat/gay just because of the names they are given.

Insecurity

Exam is finally over and I thought I could spend more time with him, sadly he would be busy and unable to meet for 1 week. First instinct that came into my mind is "Is he cheating?!" without much thinking I went to question him and of course he is mad about it. Yes, it is my fault here for being paranoid.

Respect

Words became even harsh as if my family offended him too. He doesn't care about how people see him but if my parents/friends were to know what his attitude is like I don't think they will approve me of hanging out with him anymore, end of the day it will still be my own choice. Wise word to say is that never upset your parent because of another guy, it is never worth it. Nevertheless he made me learn the hard way. I began to intimate his mannerism too, yup correct respect is gain therefore I don't see any reason to respect anyone who doesn't respect me.

One of the easiest ways to tell what is a good relationship from what is not is respect. If you respect him, and he respects you, feel free to move forward. But if he’s disrespectful, or if you often feel less-than-respectful of him, it’s not a good, healthy relationship, and it won’t be later, either.

Apologies

At all times I always have the tendency to walk out of his life. There is this perfect time where we can break apart, however I decided that he is worth it therefore I tried to salvage it to repair the relationship, from that day onward I never want to leave him anymore and I also learn to put 100% trust in him. It is true that we don't need each other in our live but I choose to want him in my life just because I cherish and treasure him.

Changes

Things is just not going smoothly these few days, I have been thinking to myself if I really deserve all this shit. I have already tried my best to compromise but seems like I didn't do it good. Well, if the other party can't make the changes then it would be me whom is making the changes. Sometimes he is just hot and cold, one minute he can be mad, another second he would be laughing away, this is so mind fuck like is he even taking the conversation seriously.

Misery

If someone were to die I would gladly volunteer myself, because I don't see the point of living in pain and disappointment anymore. Too bad that normal citizens can't be armed with gun but I would welcome a knife stab or a twist of my neck. I somehow manage to walk out of his place without any argument just now.

What my inner voice is telling me: "Never turn back into a relationship that you have walked out. Don't let yourself to get hurt again."
Problem now is will I listen to it or give this relationship another try, I really don't know.

Dream Guy

In these few month he help me to recall my ideal guy which was never really an concern to me because I know that kind of person wouldn't exist, just when I am not searching he appeared.

He is caring, lovely, neither does he smoke, drink or club, my role-model, he also happen to be in the air force which I had a thing on (because air force guy are so charming), furthermore he is low-profile on social media and doesn't really hang out with girls. I LIKE! Sadly I think that I don't have the ability to handle his attitude anymore and couldn't meet his expectation of being sexy BUT the best part of being in the relationship is feeling happy.

3 Month

It is time for the relationship to change or die, this is the freak out period for all relationship. Unsure if we are able to take this to another level or if we are going to break apart, we are fine with either actually and to me the chances are 50-50 because I believe he will change for the better, at the same time I feel that there will be people whom will appreciate me more. So if anyone of you are in this stage just breathe before doing anything silly. Every 90 days in a relationship is a new phase, it is normal if there is any argument happening.

Serious question to myself:
  • Where could this relationship get to when he is unsure of his future, "will I even be his wife?" No. I know it is too early to think about this now, but it is just me.
  • Nope there aren't a million things about him that will annoyed me, my patient level is up there but don't test my limit I can say.
  • Nope I am not pushing everything out of my mind because if I were to react the same way I don't think we will even get together for this long.
  • I am not sleeping with other people, only him, in fact I love sleeping by myself more therefore I can do it without him.
  • I could see me still being with him till next year, but will we advance I asked myself. Time waste is worst than money waste.
  • Somehow we have the same interest I can say.
  • I can practially sleep next to him everyday without a problem just being in a single size bed.
  • Yup, and I think he look hot in anything even naked.
Compromise is the key nevertheless it takes two hand to clap.
People stay in love by work, people fall out of fall by choice.

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